do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
