dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
