margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
