i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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