does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
