He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My penis needs a shock collar
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
