I want to have your abortion
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
