Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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