the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
