Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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