Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
