I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Found your dick twin last night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
