well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am naked and annoyed.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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