When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so let's talk penis.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
