dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
