I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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