i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
