5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
