You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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