she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
