new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
