Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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