Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
50% drunk capacity currently
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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