giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
