This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize