Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
