I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
