Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
