Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
