I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
