apparently the secret to your success is patron
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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