I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sorry about my life...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
