i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
