just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
