Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
