I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I still have a little drunk in my system
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
