You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
