Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
