Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
