I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
