Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
