All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
