My room smells like vodka and shame
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
