Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
