Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Randomize