Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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