question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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