You really coming over, don't trick.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
