I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
there is puke in my bra ... again
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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