he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
