Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
