A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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