it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
