Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
