My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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