My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
