I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
