It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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