they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
